Insecure

Its no secret I have always been insecure. My first marriage damaged me...a lot, more than I even knew. I know it wasnt all my 1st marriage, but myself, I have always been an insecure person, I think a lot has to do with my weight and how I feel about myself, I dont like myself, I dont know if I ever have. Don has been SO patient with me through these last 11 years. Me constintly asking if he is going to leave me, if he loves me, am I enough for him, and he answers each with a smile, a yes and a hug. I wish I didnt feel this way, and I am slowly getting better, I think losing 30 pounds so far has helped my self esteem. I am glad I dont have girls, because I would hate to have to try and teach them to love themselves when I cant love myself. But on the other hand, I have boys, so we have to teach them to love their women the way she is and make her feel important, beautiful, loved and adored, that is so much easier for me! Is our marriage perfect? No, but we love, respect and adore each other, so thats all that matters. He is patient with me, loves me and I'm all he wants, thats enough for me!

Life is good!

I love me a good relaxing saturday morning. Josh is gone at his friends house, Parker is dogsitting at my moms, Jared is playing ball with the kitties and Patrick is playing his dirt bike video game and I am on pinterest and fb. Ahhh the life! Don drove to Portland yesterday to get Patricks dirt bike. An 85 KTM. Now before anyone in my family starts judging as they have before, Don has worked his ass off doing an addition to a friends house, about 700 square feet, he has saved that money so he could buy Patrick this bike! So now, Joshua gets Patricks old bike and Jared gets Joshuas old bike, love hand me downs! Racing season starts soon so the boys are chomping at the bit to get out there. Racing is the only sport Patrick doesnt injure himself lol, he has ran into a tree, our porch and a tractor, and nothing has happened, but he jumps 2 feet in a uhaul and brakes his ankle and toe lol! Go figure! Its been very cold here the last few days, windy and just bone chilling cold, I hate it. But today the sun is out and I'm hopeful it will warm up past 35 degrees! We got snow last week, thank you Lord it didnt stick or stay around very long. I am so wanting to go on a date with my man, but alas I will wait until Prom, which is only a couple weeks away, were going to go to a movie during prom, and of course the kids want to eat at Olive Garden, doesnt hurt my feelings to eat there :) We have a van full for Prom, I love that the kids want to go with us! Well my boss is at 2 weeks from her new kidney! Holy cow, how amazing is that? I am so excited to be a part of it!!

My heart!

How can your heart be so filled with joy and also filled with such saddness? Let me explain. I started a journey 20 months ago with Lois. We spent an entire month together in Spokane and 5 days a week ever since. I have worked every holiday except Christmas day, sick or not sick. I am pretty sure I know everything about her, and she with me. I share everything with her, even female problems and bowel issues haha! She has never once ever said "why me" or felt sorry for herself, that is just not her. She is strong and I admire her more than she will ever know! Our days are spent visiting, laughing, talking, some crying and just relaxing. And now she is getting a new kidney and I am over the moon excited. She is going to start life, live without doing dialysis everyday. Then there is me who will miss her SO much. It will be so weird not spending everyday with her. They have made me a part of their family and trust me with everything they have. I am so excited to be able to be there on her big day, when her life will forever change.

My kitchen

I love my kitchen. I come in, put on a little Pink and sing while I bake and make dinner. I find peace in here and when my friends come over we always seem to gather in here and I love that. The boys love riding their scooter and rip stick around the island and into the dining room. Makes me smile. The sign above my kitchen door says "Kitchens are made to bring Families together" and thats what it does!

The weekend!

Well we have had a good quiet weekend! Don is SO close to finishing the bathroom upstairs. Friday night he painted and yesterday was putting the toilet and sink in, but missing a hose for the darn toilet! So today we will pick one up when were in Moses Lake for a birthday party. We are going to Dons favorite pizza place, Chicos for a party. I hate their pizza lol to greasy and the crust is SO thin. The sun has been so lovely! Our snow is MELTING! So next month we can finally finish our yard! We did half the hydro seeding last year and this year is the other half! Get rid of the mud! Today was Church, my last day teaching Sunday school with the Jr highers. I enjoy them so much! But I'm still doing childrens church so thats good! The boys dont have school tomorrow, but we both work, we tried to tell them thats what happens when your adults, you work lol! Patricks first game he gets to play in is Tuesday! He is beyond excited! I cant wait to watch him in action!!

Blast from the past

Ok, I had to post this picture, I was looking back on some of my old posts and this is from December of 2007. That pretty much still sums up my men haha!

The Sun!

This picture was taken yesterday, it shows us 2 things, 1st that our barn is still upright lol and 2nd it shows just how much snow we have! Now that it is finally warming up, I am praying it melts. Dont get me wrong it is beautiful, but it was beautiful 2 months ago! It has been so nice the last couple days....FINALLY! Tomorrow it is suppose to be 48 degrees, holy cow! Tomorrow I am spending the day with my Mama after work. We are going out for lunch and then grocery shopping lol! Thats what you do when you feed an army, you always grocery shop! My bill isnt as much as people would think actually, I normally spend about 600.00 a month on food, for feeding 6 people that isnt to bad. I have loved getting new recipes off pinterest and I have been making a lot of bread, yum!! My sweet husband got me roses for todays love day. He is so sweet to me, even when I dont deserve it ha! Our bathroom upstairs is ALMOST DONE! Oh my gosh I cant believe I am writing that! We have to paint, grey of course because the shower curtain and garbage can is Crimson for the Cougars, but I told Parker we would get purple rugs and towels for the Huskys! Divided family. I'm thinking of repainting my bathroom since it will be mine, but I'm at a loss of what to paint it. If it were up to me I would do pink since nothing in my house is pink haha! I really do hate painting though, but when you paint almost 4000 square feet almost all by yourself you tend to hate it! The house seemed SO big when we bought it, then we moved in and now it seems so small, crazy how that is! Well I am off to await my mans return from work! Happy Love day all!!

My funny Valentines

Oh I love these men in my life! These 5 men are the reason I know how to love. Parker is the reason I am the kind of mom I am, he started it ha! Patrick is the reason I have humility, he is so much like me! Joshua is the reason I smile all the time, he is SO funny! Jared is the reason I forgive so easily, he tries my every nerve! Don is the reason I am sane, he is my sanity when I feel like mine is gone, which is actually a lot! I do complain about how stressed out these men make me, or how I have to dye my hair so no one sees my greys sticking out, but they love me unconditionally and always forgive me when I mess up, which is a lot. I would be utterly and completly lost without them in my life.

Pinewood Derby

It was a good year for the Valverdes! The last 2 years the boys have come in dead last lol! This year Jared got 2nd and Josh got 5th, woohoo SO much better! Don always stresses out about it cause it reflects on him haha! I cant believe its only tuesday, ugh! This week is dragging on and on! Tomorrow for work we head to Spokane to get the declot meds, so that always makes for a long day. Well I am going to bed, I am still so tired but it is getting better but I'm still exhausted!!

Crazy!

33 pounds is what I am holding, which is how much I have lost so far! It weighs a ton, I cannot believe I have been carrying that 33 pounds around for so long. It makes me really excited to lose the rest, but I dont think I will be able to hold 80 pounds when all is said and done lol! Today was a perfect day! The boys went to school and it was just Don and I. I had the day off and he took the day off so it worked out wonderfully! We got ready and headed to Moses Lake. We had lunch at a new spot, it was good, I had a taco salad and Don had a big burger. Then we parked on 3rd and walked around town to get some excersize, then off to walmart to get a few things and lastly to the dirt bike shop so we can give them the go ahead to fix Patricks dirt bike. Ugh, 400.00 later. of course we forgot sheetrock for my bathroom upstairs and pellets, darn! So back we go tomorrow!! Sunday is Church and laundry in there of course! The Pinewood derby is sunday for cub scouts, the boys get so excited for this! I will post pics of their cars Sunday.

I really am obsessed with this man. He is pretty fantastic!!

Only Wednesday??

Isnt that true? Then I wonder why we think we have it so badly when things dont go our way? I am guilty of this time after time, but it does make you stop and think doesnt it? This week seems like its taking forever lol and its only Wednesday! It has been a good week so far, just busy, busy, busy. Patrick had a game Monday, 1 more week til his cast comes off! Parker is at FBLA winter conference today and FFA tomorrow. He applied for his first job!! He will make $1000.00 for 3 weeks if he gets it, which will help with gas and stuff since he will be driving then. Its the job corp road crew, so basically picking up garbage!! Not to shabby for a first job! They are growing up so fast! Prom is next month so we have to get Parker fitted for his tux! What a fun night that will be for him! Neither Don or I work Friday! I am so excited! A day with my sweetie. Whatever shall we do? :) Besides Church on Sunday this weekend is pretty low key, which I love!!